ALL ABOUT THIRTY
昨天30岁了，今天是2021年4月3日。
从时间线的记录可以看出，已经一年多没写过什么了。过去的一年，过得迷失又恍惚。
2020年春节，腊月二十三，小年，到了家。除夕那天，武汉肺炎失控了，过年的气氛混杂着各种真假不明的信息、通知，初一清晨的拜年也被喊停了。整个过年期间，各个路口都被封了，商店都关了门，新闻了武汉也封城了，大家都憋在家里，出门带着高价买来的口罩，互相保持着距离，谁家有从武汉来的人，医院和派出所都会过去给隔离起来。很快，病例就出现在湖北以外的省份，每天看新闻就是在数每天的新增是不是又比前一天多了，山东又多了几个，聊城的哪里出现了。有过03年非典的经验，大家都认为这一切会随着气温的升高很快就过去，可是随着病例传入美国、欧洲、印度、南美……，夏天的气温对这个病毒好像并没有什么抑制作用。开学推迟了，在家待了一个半月，在三月初跟晓冉回杭州了，一直到了五月底我才回的学校。伴随着病毒肆虐的，是需要一遍又一遍修改的毕业论文，需要在答辩前投稿的期刊论文和整理好的书籍初稿。在读博这几年，在导师的push下，期刊论文是发了不少，可是心里并没有高兴的感觉，觉得自己并没有解决什么实际问题，也没有提出什么有创造性的方法，更没有建立自己牢固的理论基础。自我感觉这六年并没有什么值得骄傲的东西，也没有什么成就感，平庸也许就是本该欣然接受的事情。在一个按数量说话的世界里，不搞数量又活不下去，那么，下次马力开动之前，就先调低一下心里的道德标准吧，当婊子就别立牌坊了。因为COVID-19的原因，折腾半年多的新加坡国立的博后终是没去成，研究方向是海洋工程，这也是我想做的，没去成是有些可惜，但是也没太可惜，毕竟新加坡不能解决家属签证的问题。因为晓冉在杭州工作，我就投了浙江工业大学的简历，待遇低考核难，我没有去。最后，还是选择来香港落脚，跟着师兄打打团战。
过去一年，也不全是不开心的事。在2月初，我和晓冉登记了，在9月初，我终于毕业了，在11月初，我和晓冉结婚了，此外几次自驾也是十分有趣。
不过，有件事算是有结论了，30岁的时候，我并没有一辆凯迪拉克，这应该就是真实的生活。
希望到30岁了，我能用一辆凯迪拉克。2013年11月22日 19:15 @我的QQ空间
30岁是个时间节点，它与其他时候有什么不同呢，我不知道，可能是大家都有喜欢取整的爱好吧。在这个时间，有些事情做成了，不过绝大部分的事情都没有做成。世上哪有那么多顺心的事，事做不成，就从心里给自己做工作。把视角投射到宇宙，从比旅行者1号更远的地方回看自己。
Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it, everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there–on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.
Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.
It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.
Carl Sagan. Pale blue dot: A vision of the human future in space. 1997.
未来的自己还是要努力一些，努力把自己的道德底线划高一些，努力多做点让自己觉得有意义的研究，努力活得自由而潇洒，努力去平和自己的心态，努力做一个让自己看得过去的人。
最后，放一些过来一年的照片：
